How has French revolution affected world economic growth? Too early to say.
Did you hear of the economist who dove into his swimming pool and broke his neck? He forgot to seasonally adjust.
How many economists does it take to change a light bulb? Seven, plus/minus ten.
World leaders Bill and Boris are taking a break from a long summit, Boris says to Bill, “Bill, you know, I have a big problem I dont know what to do about. I have a hundred bodyguards and one of them is a traitor. I dont know which one.” “Not a big deal Boris,” Bill responds. “Im stuck with a hundred economists I have to listen to all the time before any policy decision and only one tells the truth. “That sounds like the same situation,” Boris says. “Yes,” replies Bill. “But in my case, its never the same one!”
President Truman once said he wants an economic adviser who is one handed. Why? Because normally the economists giving him economic advice state, On one hand and on the other...
Ronald Reagan used to say that if trivial pursuit were designed by economists, it would have 100 questions and 3,000 answers.
There were two economists who were shipwrecked on a desert island. They had no money but over the next three years, they made millions of dollars selling their hats to each other.
Two economists were sitting at a nudist colony. The one said, Have you read Marx? The other says, Its these wicker chairs.
Economic forecasters assume everything, except responsibility.
Economists are people who are too smart for their own good and not smart enough for anyone elses.
Three econometricians went out hunting and came across a large deer. The first econometrician fired but missed by a meter to the left. The second econometrician fired but missed by a meter to the right. The third econometrician didn’t fire but shouted in triumph, “We got it! We got it!”
What’s the difference between an economist and a confused old man with Alzheimers? The economist is the one with a calculator.
Three leading economists took a small plane to the wilderness in northern Canada to hunt moose over the weekend. The last thing the pilot said was, “Remember, this is a very small plane and you will only be able to bring ONE moose back.” But of course, they killed one each and come Sunday, they talked the pilot into letting them bring all three dead moose onboard. So just after takeoff, the plane stalled and crashed. In the wreckage, one of the economists woke up, looked around and said, “Where the hell are we.” The other economist replied, “Oh, just about a hundred yards east of the place where we crashed last year.”
Why was astrology invented? So economics would seem like an accurate science.
How many conservative economists does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Eventually, the darkness will make the light bulb screw itself in.
Did you know economists have predicted nine out of the last five recessions?
There was a party of economists out mountain climbing in the Himalayas and they got lost. One of them took a look at the map and studied very carefully, compared it to distant landmarks and checked his compass. Finally, he said to the other economists, “Do you see that big mountain over there? According to the map, we’re standing on top of it.”
On the first day, God created the sun. In response, the Devil created sunburn. On the second day, God created sex. In response, the Devil created marriage. On the third day, God created an economist. This was a tough one for the Devil, but, in the end, and after a lot of thought, he created a second economist.
A central banker walks into a pizzeria to order a pizza. When the pizza is done, he goes up to the counter get it. There a clerk asks him: Should I cut it into six pieces or eight pieces? The central banker replies: Im feeling rather hungry right now. Youd better cut it into eight pieces.


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