Here we go again on worthless articles, so this time we will go for dirty ditties, starting with Xmas.

Twas Christmas eve in the mortuary,
The night was cold but clear,
Up got the corpse from the cold, cold slab
And said its bleeding cold in here*


Christmas is a coming, the goose is getting fat,
Please put a pound in the old mans hat
If you have not a pound, fifty pence will do,
If you dont have that, well blow you

Think I better stop at that, before they get muckier 

Merry Christmas everyone