Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room.The teacher says, Why are you arguing?
One boy answers, We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie.
You should be ashamed of yourselves, said the teacher, When I was your age I didnt even know what a lie was.
The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.


STUDENT: Would you punish me for something I didn`t do? 
TEACHER: Of course not. 
STUDENT: Good, because I haven`t done my homework.


A teacher asked a student to write 55. 
Student asked: How? 
Teacher: Write 5 and beside it another 5! 
The student wrote 5 and stopped. 
teacher: What are you waiting for? 
student: I dont know which side to write the other 5!


Little Johnny: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom? 
Teacher: Little Johnny, MAY I go to the bathroom? 
Little Johnny: But I asked first! 


Teacher: Why are you late? 
Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill. 
Teacher: Thats nice. Were you helping him look for it? 
Student: No. I was standing on it.