The doctor to the patient: You are very sick 
The patient to the doctor: Can I get a second opinion? 
The doctor again: Yes, you are very ugly too...


A man goes to the doctor and says, Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts. 
The doctor asks, What do you mean? 
The man says, When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee - OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts. 
The doctor says, I know whats wrong with you - youve broken your finger!


Patient: Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea. 
Doctor: Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink. 


Patient: Doctor! Youve got to help me! Nobody ever listens to me. No one ever pays any attention to what I have to say.
Doctor: Next please!