What do Russians get when mixing Holy Water with Vodka?
-The Holy Spirit! 


What did the bartender say after a book walked into the bar?
- Please, no stories! 


Boy: I love you so much, I could never live without you.
Girl: Is that you or the beer talking?
Boy: Its me talking to the beer. 


Life and beer are very similar .....chill for best results. 


If you drink too much alcohol you are an alcoholic. If you drink too much Fanta, does that make you Fantastic? 


Take me drunk Im home. 


What do you call a man with a shot of whiskey on his head?
-A taxi.