What you will read now is 3 minutes and 47 seconds long. Yes this giant wall of text lasts less than four minutes. Becuase it is actually song. A Bulgaria song - rap one by the So Called Crew. As it is Bulgarian I tried to translate and interpret it in English, which didnt happen nice at the end, but just the sense and the nostalgy, and the melancholy it has in it is umatchable. Never I heard something like it - really history, relatable, problematic, heavy hitting. I will embed the song and then I will let you read about the story.



I remember her clearly. I was only 6th grade, but when I met her it felt great. I was drunk from pleasure, just like I was going through rebirth, conquered by calmness. She was glass of water satisfying my thirst. In that unsecure moment she provoked the curiosity in me.
“Neat or on the rocks?”, she asked while pouring me a cup of questionable alcoholic substance…

Me, one smiled child, laughing Innocently, I grabbed her in my hands and I took a sip from her. My legs gave up. I experienced that type of chill for the first time in my life. That’s when I did wrong for first time. I took the leap of faith. Even from the first date I was confused, had to be really drunk. Now I am looking after her like a hound… With the hope she will comfort my huge sorrow. In the end I have to swallow the bitter taste she leaves in my mouth and in my mind. And to see the bottom of the bottle once again…

With you or without you. Drunk as or sober. Life is taking me as a joke, but I drink it neat, without ice. With you or without you. Drunk as or sober. I was drunk yesterday, for tomorrow I don’t know, but today I am not. With or without you. Drunk as or sober. Life is taking me as a joke, but I drink it neat, without ice. With you or without you. Drunk as or sober.

Hey man, do you remember how you drank at your prom night? You can drink with hours, to do your thing, you mood is high, you don’t care about anything. Back thean all our parties were like that. Every party is the party of your life. You don’t know what you are doing. You just drink, because.. You don’t even know why you are drinking, motherer. The bigger ones are drinking and so you are – bigger, cooler, something like that.

With you or without you. Drunk as or sober. Life is taking me as a joke, but I drink it neat, without ice. With you or without you. Drunk as or sober. I was drunk yesterday, for tomorrow I don’t know, but today I am not. With or without you. Drunk as or sober. Life is taking me as a joke, but I drink it neat, without ice. With you or without you. Drunk as or sober.

What’s the matter with us?

What was wrong with him? He was the last on the table, he was always the first one drinking? He has a house in Canada, good job and Ford Mustang, but here he has with whom to drink all the ing booze on this ing world. He died from cirrhosis some people told me. I took my farewell with him when I saw his obituary.

Since then I didn’t see the Theologist again.. Do you know what is the felling of someone ripping an organ from your spine, because you didn’t eat anything since days – wrapped and twisted like candy is in its cellophane? You can’t die from hunger if you are on spirits and water. Alcohol is the only king. My grandpa did smoke 3 packs a day. You had to count all the stars on the sky and multiply them by two to find out how many drinks he had.

Through all our life we strived not be humans. The suffering from this is like getting stabbed with a sword every day. That’s why we all chose to die in a way that is suitable and pleasurable. For me – one big glass of whiskey on the rocks.

Who from us does remember him? How much blunts we fired, like Baretta shooting with its bullets. How many bottles we dried out on the sunny roads? How many roads we passed with the boombap in our ears? Bro, the memories always lead me there. Where we got drunk like filthy pigs... I remember how I once barely went back home alive, with Dudes and the Loir. My mother stuffed me with activated carbon. We drank cheap “Mehandzhiisko” wine that night… A lot – 8 liters in total.

What’s the matter with us?

Man, life is really… Moving through some shit Buddhist spiral. You know – shit, shit, shit, you have some moments of enlightenment and then again shit, shit, shit. And then you have moments of… again…