Hello there, after all this time...

One member of Slovenian goverment asked me to find an exc... a reason for the upcoming war with the Queen. It will be easy to write it down, they say. Well, not really easy to find an excuse to declare a war on an old lady, but anyway, where there is a will there is a way...


From our previous encounters I learned British ussualy desire some public explanations as to why is someone attacking their beautiful country and therefor I know it would be rather dissapointing if we attacked them without any prior reasoning whatsoever.





First of all, Britain is doing a very lousy job protecting their national symbol, kangaroos. More than 2000 perished from lack of water the last winter. Bragging about that bloody rain of yours and than leaving kangaroos dying of thirst is one of the most dreadfull s in history, even for a British Empire. Slovenians are very proud at our animal protection heritage and we will not rest untill British kangaroos are properly taken care of. A shame, really.




Secondly, you guys are surely terrible at geography. I am sadly not aware of such instance to be able to quote it out of my head, but am pretty sure you mixed Slovenia with Slovakia at least once, someday, sometime. Probably.
There is a likely occurance.





UK has a particulary unlovely color on the map. I know it is not much of an excuse, but it played a role in our decision and I feel obliged not to lie about it and did write that down in this article, accordingly.



In your terrible urge for colonialisation of the world! You just could not leave that beautifull barren land, which we nowadays call Canada, alone. By doing so you are collectively responsible for the creation of Justin Bieber. Instead of being a good sports, accepting your responsibility, you blame Canada for this calamitiy.




You have caused us grief with Brexit. By leaving EU you are leaving the rest of the Europe with that drunk of a Juncker, more immigrants will now be stuck on the mainland instead of your place and our country is afraid of being forced to accept tarrifs brought upon our Haggis imports.


However, since you desire to leave the EU, we will gladly encompany you all, out of EU, to the Falkland islands.
From now on, we shall call this a Nigel Farage challenge! Which ever country will achieve that, bringing UK out of Europe, receives 100 G prize and a rubber.






Someone said something about some prophecy on the main chat, I do not believe in that sh*t, but why not putting it here anyway...




I sincerely hope you found the reasoning about our war with the UK satisfying. If not, do not throw a paddy over it. I mean, we have a Scottish Prime minister! What do you bloody expect from us?






FREE SCOTLAND!!!
ALBA GU BRÀTH!!!

Yours sincerely,
Janez Grozni,
MoFo of Slovenia